-How much we enjoy what we have is much more important than how much we have. Life is full of people who have more than they know what to do with, but cannot be content. It is the capacity to enjoy life that brings contentment.

Monday, July 06, 2009

In Memory

It does not seem that long ago that I was writing about having to put Sophie down. In reality it was not that long ago. I am sad at having to do it again. This time for Blackers.



On Monday the 29th I took Blackers to the vet, Bill and I had both noticed that he has not been acting or feeling well. The vet listened to his heart and got a funny look on his face. Blackers heart was not working. An EKG was done and his heart rate would go from 102 to 248 to 150. His heart was failing. I decided to have blood work done to see if it was his kidneys or liver. AS I was waiting for Blackers to be brought back out, i realized that I didnt have a choice. I couldnt afford to pay 2-3 hundred dollars to get an animal cardiologist involved and if it was his kidney or liver, I would not put him through the IV's etc. I could not let him suffer so I made the decision to put him down.

I have not been handling this very well, Blackers was my buddy. He slept with me, met me at the door and was always with me when I was home. I felt like I was failing him. I was letting him down by putting him down. As they were giving him the shot I was telling him how much I loved him and thanked him for all of his companionship and that I would see him again someday. I told him he was going to go and see Charlie and Sophie.

Every time I go to bed I miss him, he would always be there waiting for me. I think that I will have a hard time for a long time. I know he had a good life however it is very difficult.

Blackers thank you for everything, for helping me through so much. I will always love and remember you. I will see you again someday.

with a heavy heart...peace