On Monday the 29th I took Blackers to the vet, Bill and I had both noticed that he has not been acting or feeling well. The vet listened to his heart and got a funny look on his face. Blackers heart was not working. An EKG was done and his heart rate would go from 102 to 248 to 150. His heart was failing. I decided to have blood work done to see if it was his kidneys or liver. AS I was waiting for Blackers to be brought back out, i realized that I didnt have a choice. I couldnt afford to pay 2-3 hundred dollars to get an animal cardiologist involved and if it was his kidney or liver, I would not put him through the IV's etc. I could not let him suffer so I made the decision to put him down.
I have not been handling this very well, Blackers was my buddy. He slept with me, met me at the door and was always with me when I was home. I felt like I was failing him. I was letting him down by putting him down. As they were giving him the shot I was telling him how much I loved him and thanked him for all of his companionship and that I would see him again someday. I told him he was going to go and see Charlie and Sophie.
Every time I go to bed I miss him, he would always be there waiting for me. I think that I will have a hard time for a long time. I know he had a good life however it is very difficult.
Blackers thank you for everything, for helping me through so much. I will always love and remember you. I will see you again someday.
with a heavy heart...peace
